This was sent in from a friend out in Washington-(names and identities have been concealed for professional reasons of course)

To Whom It May Concern:

My cousin is a jackass and he loves your glasses.  Although there is no causality between the two, both are relevant to this letter.  Last weekend we celebrated my Grandmother’s 90^th birthday in Washington State.   Here I am with my Grandmother (she is the one with the gray hair)…

During the festivities, several of us started a fun game of Beer Pong.   My cousin, thinking he was a master Ponger, plaid almost every game but only won once.  As you can imagine, he consumed far more than his weak liver could process.  This resulted in poor dancing and roughhousing (see pics of the poor dancing below)…

The roughhousing was mainly with my brother in law. As the most sober person there, I held my cousin’s prized Shwood Glasses so that they would not get damaged. I should clarify however, that although I was the most sober (including my grandma), I was far from sober.

I eventually had to relieve myself and the bathroom was far too long of a walk so I decided to go in the back yard.  During the evacuation of my bladder my cousin hit me with a folding chair WWF style (you can see the folding chair in the picture above).  Luckily it was a glancing blow.  I was not so lucky though as he followed up the attack by my smashing me in the face with the inflatable Beer Pong table.

As you can imagine, the safety of my face was not enough for your well crafted eyewear.  The resulting blow resulted in the broken pair that you now have in your possession.

(only the arm had been dislodged, an easy fix)

My request today is that you see if you can repair the glasses in much the same way that I am now trying to repair my relationship with my cousin.  I should have known better then to pee outside and should have watched more carefully for flying objects.  If these can be mended, I am sure our relationship can be as well.